As the seminar leader called for volunteers, my heart began to beat faster. I wanted to go on stage, but didn't want to appear over eager. The seminar leader had modeling, theatre, and commercial acting experience. She was trying to teach us how to tap into select memories in order to give mor ecredence and passion to our stories.
After 20 seconds, I decided to try this new experience of going to the stage to act out one of my parent's signature sayings. The rules were quite simple as I was to play both my Father and myself. My signature saying was, "Oh come on now, Mark." My dad had said this to me when he was trying to teach me how to use a Phillips head screwdriver for the first time.
I remember my dad saying, "Now hold the screw like this. Take the screwdriver and place the tip into the groove on the head of the screw. Turn the screw, clockwise, like the way the hands on a clock turn." I did this on stage playing myself as a child while I held an imaginary screw and screwdriver. I began, somewhat shakily, to put the screw into the predrilled hole. After two or three attempts, I managed to keep the screw from falling down. However, I was nervous, not from being on stage, but from tapping into the emotions from my childhood. The screw started to turn, but then it fell down again. My dad said, "Oh come on now, Mark," and grabbed the screwdriver from me and did it himself. My heart was racing. I finally lookedup at him and said I was sorry that I didn't do it right. I swallowed and then said, what is clockwise? I was about four years old and couldn't tell time, soI was turning the screwdriver counter-clockwise!
How many times have you gotten directions from somebody who expects you to do it their way and not your own way? This was evident when I worked with a group of speakers as they prepared for an important customer presentation. My main point of contact thought he had done the group a favor by preparing most of the slides and the talking points without the group's participation. He actually expected the group to memorize his 'script' and to try and figure out the point of each slide. The original practice sessions came across as plastic and inauthentic. It seemed as if the speaker's were removed from the presentation even though they were standing right in front of me. Their voices were monochromatic and the expressions on their faces empty. I instructed the group to throw away the 'script' and then I asked them how they got involved in their careers. As they began telling me about themselves, they became more 'present' and passionate. We wove their personal stories into the presentation allowing them to make a deeper connection to their customer and to deliver a better presentation.
I was further reminded how each of us has a personal story that cannot be duplicated when I came across the outdoor museum at the Kellogg Cereal Headquarters. Not more than 20 yards from the banks of Battle Creek and from a statute of 'Tony the Tiger', there was a replica of a Humming Hollow. Humming Hollows are found inside the vast network of caves on the island nation of Malta. A Humming Hollow is about the size of a block of ice, dark brown and porous with a semi-circle carved out on one side. There is enough room to stick one's head inside this semi-circle and hum. I did this many times and felt the vibration in my shoulders, lower back and even down to my toes. The description next to the Humming Hollow went on to say that each individual has his or her very own vibration, often called a 'tremor.' It said, "Humming through soft, relaxed and closed lips at a varying pitch is the best way to discover your tremor."
It is a major concern when people are not able or allowed to develop their own personal stories or tremors. An article in The Wall Street Journal talked about the massive increase of drugs like Ritalin and others for attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Apparently these drugs are also used to treat adults as evidenced by the amount of commercials airing on television. Between 2000 and 2003, prescriptions for ADHD drugs rose 23%. The article went on to say that the CEO of JetBlue Airways never took drugs for his ADHD and he credits his 'disorder' for helping him to think unconventionally. Albert Einstein was believed to have had ADHD too. I wonder what effect the ADHD drugs have on preventing us from doing things our way, accessing memories that evoke passion and in developing new ideas.
If we expect others to think and act like us, we choke off their uniqueness and prevent a deep connection from taking place. When there is a tendency in society to 'medicate' children and adults for thinking and acting differently, it takes away from our diversity and from our ability to come up with unique concepts and ideas. As a photographer, I run away from signs saying"photo spot here," because it would make my pictures look like somebody else's. Try giving people the general idea, but then allow them the space and time to figure out how to use a screwdriver, take a photograph or to make a presentation on their own. When you tap into a forgotten emotion from childhood or really think about why you got involved in your current career, you will be reminded of the gifts that you bring to this world. We should all have warning labels on our bodies that read, "Your unique vibration cannot be duplicated by anyone else."
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Source: The Leadership Lens: Key Lessons from Behind the Camera about Leading in an Uncertain Future
Book by Mark Sincevich